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WritIng updaTes – How life is – A Self UltimatuM^

Posted 14/06/22

Headings are a powerful tool; numerous words which proactively explains the context inside a body of text. Some can be short, some can be sweet, some can roll off the tongue, but others can leave the reader in confusion. Everything depends on how clear the heading represents the wall of words — one of the meaty substances of communication — and while the inner voice inside your mind perfectly voices and replicates what you’re reading, you’re left feeling curious. After all, why else would you read further?1

Perhaps it is to gain more context about the chunky blocks of letters, to subconsciously psychoanalyse the text and its narrator, or is it just for entertainment? =/= sparking the imagination asunder…

As mentioned in my last blog (which feels like a lifetime ago) I have started writing again, however there is a downside — I haven’t done much. Project Psychosis replicates similar plots we see in reality, so I’ve found it hard to write (which can be the case for writing extensive Psychological Existentialism pieces), but it is what it is. And the deadline I placed (October) seems like it’ll be pushed back for another year or so, considering the book has about three plots — or possibly more.

Oftentimes tiredness makes writing far more of an effort than what it used to be.

                                           John Gilchrist

In having that typed though, I have redefined my writing style, yet I haven’t taken the time to rest my busy mind. Everything is still in wild mists, swirling beyond all reason and doubt: simply existing as loose threads which hang vicariously above a guillotine that is about to drop down onto an already fading soul. And yet writing various context inside bodies of forms, documents and emails probably doesn’t help with that either, to be fair.

1However, after a year and a half, I have written a short story which can be found here (check out pg 14-15). Although it may cost a little now if you’d want to read it, at some point in time I will republish it in an anthology of sorts, but that’s a distant future, future project.

As for myself, I’ve been busy doing too much as usual: the work grind and doing worky things — while having fun of course — helping awesome clients with their writing, delving more into my old card hobby, reading for fun — I know right? What is that to one who reads constantly? — and just existing inside and beside these weird times of ours.2

Sometimes I wonder if my focus is darting about too much…

^An UltimatuM is often defined as a final proposal or statement of conditions; especially one whose rejection will end negotiations and cause a resort of force or other direct action (or a sound which stops conversation) . In this case, as the heading suggests, I am considering A Self UltimatuM. Now I know you’re wondering what the fU*k do I mean, but please read me out. The ultimatum I want to give myself is that if I don’t write, I will never write again.

I know that’s harsh, but I’ve always been hard on myself. That will never end,

                                                                                                                                                                       worst critic…

If I stop completely, then I will for good. It is something I do not want.
I must keep my interest and passion alight. For my creative sake/Self.

2So that’s where I’m at: not writing much, busy being busy, but having fun with all the things I’m doing. I’ve also started experimenting with text and writing again (cue Wattpad flashbacks) which you’ve probably noticed. If not, I’m sure you saw some pætterns and signs.

                       Kind regards,

                                            J Mills

PS – Good things take time. So does cheese. It has to ferment for longevity, like a concept/idea